MiserablePrick
Guest
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 Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: More bible flaws exposed |
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The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362
admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't
love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
" Dear Religious Fundamentalist: Thank you for doing so much to
educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from
your self righteous speeches, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I
simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however,
regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room
here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Miserable Prick
p.s. if over 70% of "straight" marriages are ending in divorce, how
are you going to "protect" marriage by preventing more loving couples
from getting married? |
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old man joe
Guest
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| Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:38 pm Post subject: Re: More bible flaws exposed << there are no flaws in the B |
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i'm not a Fundamentalist.
when one selects parts of the books of the Bible and doesn't compare
them to the whole Bible he is assured to come up with contradictions.
the Bible consists of the 66 books of the Reformed faith, not the 99
or so books the Catholics call the Bible nor the Old Testament the
Jews call the whole Bible nor the re-writen text of the Jehovah's
Witnesses.
furthermore, the doctrine is simple... Esau could never understand
the things of God while his twin brother Jacob could.
this is because Jacob was loved by God while Esau was hated by God
and this was the determined outcome before they were ever born.
Ro. 9
without God cleansing a person by the blood of Christ and instilling
in him His Holy Spirit no one can understand what salvation is all
about. Jn. 3:3. Jacob knew this; Esau did not.
so it's pointless to think that a Jew, for example, will ever find
some modern day Messiah since Jesus Christ already came and provided
the Atonement for sin... the physical temple in Jerusalem is gone as
well as the priesthood... this finds it's fulfillment in Messiah
Jesus.
He is the High Priest administering Atonement to whom it is
determined by God should be saved from the penalty of his sins.
Eph. 1:3-14. such as Jacob and not Esau.
all these ideas you put forth have no bearing today except in the
minds of Legalists who know not God.
On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:37:38 -0700 (PDT), MiserablePrick
<jessapod@lycos.com> wrote:
| Quote: | The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362
admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't
love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
" Dear Religious Fundamentalist: Thank you for doing so much to
educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from
your self righteous speeches, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I
simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however,
regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room
here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Miserable Prick
p.s. if over 70% of "straight" marriages are ending in divorce, how
are you going to "protect" marriage by preventing more loving couples
from getting married? |
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